Let's be honest, gents. We've all struck out with a woman at some point in our lives.
It's easy to do! Without a basic understanding of the dos and don'ts of talking to women, most guys will fall at the first hurdle and blurt out something awful without even knowing it!
Gents, that's what I like to call a first date mood killer.
The thing is, it's actually really easy to avoid! In today's article, I'm breaking out 10 sentences real women have said would instantly turn them off on a first date and beyond.
We'll be covering:
- ‘Men Have It Harder'
- ‘My Ex Was Crazy'
- ‘I've Got To Go Soon'
- ‘The Service Here Sucks'
- ‘I Earn A lot Of Money'
- ‘I Really Hate (Enter Race, Nationality or Gender)'
- ‘You're Really Sexy'
- ‘You Look Like My Mom'
- ‘I Don't Want Kids'
- ‘Can You Pay For This One? I Forgot My Wallet'
#1 Men Have It Harder
There are plenty of first date mood killers, but one of the worst is to belittle women's rights and appear not to care about equality.
This is a surefire way to turn off any woman, and it's also just plain rude. After all, women have had to fight for hundreds of years to get the same rights as men, and they're still not quite there yet.
So, when a man says that women have it easier than men, it sends a clear message that he doesn't understand or care about the struggles that women face every day.
Even if he's trying to be funny or make a point, it's best to avoid this topic altogether on a first date.
Save your opinions on this for later, after you've gotten to know each other better. Otherwise, you might just end up striking out before the night is over.
#2 My Ex Was Crazy
Another first date mood killer that men need to avoid at all costs is talking about their crazy ex.
It's an instant turn-off for several reasons:
- It shows that the man is still emotionally attached to his ex and hasn't moved on.
- It makes the man seem like he's angry and bitter, which are two qualities that nobody wants in a partner.
- Guys that do this appear to be a gossip, which is definitely not attractive.
So if you're out on a first date with a woman, resist the urge to trash-talk your ex – it's a surefire way to ruin your chances of a second date.
If the topic of ex-partners does come up, be careful and make sure you don't seem too intense. Express the reasons for your break up, but make sure you do so with respect and without dwelling on the negatives too much.
In short, bad-mouthing your ex will only make you look bad in the process.
#3 I've Got To Go Soon
There are very few things more frustrating than when a man is already counting down the minutes until he can make his escape.
It sends the clear message that he's not interested in getting to know his date and that he's all too aware of how long he has left before he can leave the table.
This may not be what you intend to communicate when looking at your watch or saying you need to leave soon, but it's how it comes across when your date doesn't know you all that well.
A man who is really interested in a woman will want to make the most of their time together.
So if you're hoping to make a good impression on your first date, it's best to leave your watch at home and show your date the attention she deserves.
#4 The Service Here Sucks
One of the most common mood killers is when a man complains about the service at a restaurant.
Whether it's a slow service, the cold food, or the uncooperative waitstaff, complaining about it will only make you look negative and ungrateful. Not to mention, it's just plain rude to complain about something that isn't your date's fault.
Sure, it's okay to mention the quality of the service at a restaurant, but it's important to do this in a way that shows you only want the best for your date.
Don't be rude to the waiters, instead try to joke around and make the best of a bad situation. Try to focus on the positive aspects of the date rather than the negatives.
Your date will definitely appreciate your positive attitude! It might just be the thing to set you apart from her previous dates.
In short, when it comes to dating faux pas, complaining about the service is a big first date mood killer.
#5 I Earn A lot Of Money
Talking about money is one of the big faux pas of any new relationship – be it friendly or romantic.
However, when getting to know a woman, it can be a pretty tragic first date mood killer.
First, it makes you seem arrogant and materialistic – like your only goal in dating is to find someone wealthy who matches your financial profile.
Second, it's a turn-off for most women because it sets the tone for the relationship. If money is all you care about, then you're not likely to make her feel valued or special in comparison to your bank balance.
When all's said and done, money just isn't an appropriate topic of conversation for a first date. It's best to save discussion of finances for later on in the relationship, when you know each other better and can have a more open and honest conversation about money.
If the topic of wages and finances does come up during a first date, then it's important to be humble. Sure, you might be on a six-figure salary, but that doesn't mean you should flaunt it. Instead, focus on the things that are important to you and let your date know what you value in life.
Humble bragging about your salary is a surefire way to kill any chance of a second date
#6 I Really Hate (Enter Race, Nationality or Gender)
It should go without saying, but any kind of racism/sexism is not okay. That's a rule for life gents, not just an example of a first date mood killer.
Not only is it incredibly offensive, but it also makes you seem like the sort of person who would be a terrible partner in a long-term relationship.
After all, why would any woman want to date someone who is so prejudiced against other people's cultures? This is a surefire way to kill any first date mood.
So, avoid any ‘jokes' that are offensive to other people's cultures.
In addition, making any kind of derogatory comment about a particular race/nationality/gender is also a big red flag when it comes to your emotional maturity. It shows that you're not open-minded or tolerant of other people's beliefs – definitely not the sort of person she wants to see for a second date!
#7 You're Really Sexy
I can't stress this enough: never call a woman sexy on a first date.
To you, this might seem like a compliment. But in the eyes of a woman you've just met, it's really just objectifying her and focusing on her looks rather than her personality.
Go in too heavy on the physical compliments, and it'll look like you're only interested in one thing. Sure, that stuff can be explored a bit later on in your relationship, but any mention of sexuality on a first date is just a bad idea.
If you're looking to make a good impression, avoid the topic altogether and instead try to get to know who she is as a person.
Save this type of compliment for later and focus on getting to know your date instead. She'll appreciate it much more in the long run.
#8 You Look Like My Mom
Most first dates are awkward enough without having to worry about your date's potential resemblance to your mother.
At the end of the day, isn't it just a bit creepy to liken a potential romantic partner's looks to that of your mother? Surely that makes it a pretty obvious first date mood killer?
Just avoid making any comments about how she looks like anyone in your family. It's just weird and will make her feel uncomfortable.
For a safe compliment, why not try ‘you look really pretty tonight.'
This will show that you're interested in her as a potential partner, rather than just someone who reminds you of your mother.
In fact, discussing parents on a first date is just a bad idea altogether. Not only does it make the conversation feel more like an interrogation, but it also puts unnecessary pressure on both parties.
If you're trying to get to know someone new, it's best to leave the topic of parents for later on down the line. After all, first dates are supposed to be about getting to know each other, not your respective parents.
#9 I Don't Want Kids
It's not that women don't like men who are clear about what they want in life, but on a first date, it's best to keep the focus on getting to know each other.
An outright refusal to consider kids makes it clear that you're is not interested in having a family, which can be a problem for a lot of women.
In fact, the vast majority of women would prefer to date a man who is open to the idea of having children. So if you're not ready to take that step, it's best to keep the topic off the table altogether.
After all, there's nothing worse than a first date that ends with an awkward silence.
#10 Can You Pay For This One? I Forgot My Wallet.
One of the worst things you can do is ask your date to cover half of the bill.
Not only does this make you look cheap, but it also shows a lack of respect. After all, you were the one who invited her out for a meal.
If you can't even pay for your own date, how do you expect her to see you as a gentleman who wants to impress her? Sure, she might offer to pay her half, in which case you can either politely decline or accept her offer (either is fine, just don't be too pushy! If she insists on paying her half, then let her.)
But if she doesn't, it's best to just suck it up and pay for the whole thing yourself. It might not be what you had in mind, but trust us, she'll appreciate it a lot more than having to split the bill down the middle.
Remember, first impressions are everything. It's much better to just bite the bullet and pick up the tab. Not only will it make you look like a gentleman, but it will also give you a chance to show off your generosity.
And who knows? Maybe she'll offer to pick up the tab next time.
Need to pick up the pieces of a bad date where you suffered a first date mood killer? Check out my guide to what women find irresistible in a man.
The post 10 First Date Mood Killers You Need To Know (According To Real Women) appeared first on Real Men Real Style.
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